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Maggie Stiefvater & The Trampoline of Doom

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Recall, gentle reader, that I promised you the tale of the Trampoline of Doom. Here is that tale. It’s a short one. More like a encyclopedic entry in the Great Big Book of Items of Doom than anything else.

I came across it while I was in California for a wedding*. My entire extended family and I had rented a Very Spiffy House in Santa Barbara for the occasion. If you have not been to California or to Santa Barbara or met my family, I highly recommend it. All of these things offer a wide variety of activities. Below is a photo journal of such things.

Well, mostly I just played a lot of pool. I considered a photo montage of all of the days and times my sister took photos of my playing pool, but it wasn’t really interesting to anyone but the pool table’s mother. So you get just one.


maggie billiards 3

I also shopped for dresses for the ALA Printz event in June. Like an adult. Like a normal adult woman. I was shopping like a pro.

maggie the model 4
Uh, no, I didn’t buy anything.

I also did some research for the sequel to THE RAVEN BOYS. This is the Chumash Painted Cave, which dates from the 1600s “or something.” I’m paraphrasing from the historic marker.


Then I did more research by going to see one of the country’s largest fig trees.


maggie and the giant fig 2
No. I don’t think you get it. I said one of the country’s Largest. Capital L.


Fig Tree, Santa Barbara
I also enjoyed senselessly unending sunshine and aggressively beautiful landscapes from the front yard of our rental.

Which is where I found the Trampoline of Doom.


trampoline cropped
Let me break this down for you, what you’re seeing.


That’s right, it’s an in-ground trampoline, designed for safety. You can’t jump off and tangle your limbs in anything except grass. Pretty brilliant. Also, you could hide bodies in the pit underneath it. That’s a free bonus suggestion right there. Anyway, it’s the paragon of safety. Until you zoom out.


Let me break down THIS scene for you.


That’s right. This trampoline, far from being a paragon of safety, is actually a way to get rid of unwanted children. Tired of bad grades? Disappointing skin tone? Substandard room cleaning action? Simply tell them to go out to play on the trampoline and your problem is solved!

Needless to say,

Thing 1 and Thing 2 mostly swam in the pool.

Maggie Stiefvater
Hi, I'm Maggie Stiefvater

Professional novelist by day and artist by night. I live an eccentric life in the middle of nowhere, Virginia with my charmingly straight-laced husband, two kids, and neurotic dogs. I’m the author of the Books of Faerie (LAMENT and BALLAD); the bestselling SHIVER trilogy (SHIVER, LINGER, FOREVER), and THE SCORPIO RACES.

How I Write

Maggie Stiefvater Novels

Copyright 2012